I splurged on myself today for once…

Dad told me that apparently my brothers have killed another power cord for his laptop. Our desktop computer is incrediably slow, so I decided to get my very own laptop. I invested in a Toshiba Satellite. Now I need to invest in Microsoft Word 2007, as well as protector cover for the keyboard. The keyboard has a nice glossy finish so as I type this…I’m leaving finger prints. Grrr!

I’ve decided to work four days a week instead of three, I’m going to need the money to pay this laptop off asap! Also I’m going to need the money for my Florida trip with Paul in January. I’m excited about going back to Florida with Paul. Last time we went to Florida we took a day to just walk around the place & spent the day snuggling in our room. Also the fact that it was 35 degrees outside helped us to decide to stay in & not play in the parks. I love snuggling with him. Nine whole days of snuggling, I just can’t wait.

Tomorrow is my first test for Sociology, hope I do well. I better go to bed so I can wake up early & study my butt off some more. Maybe I’ll go to the gym.

Going back 10 steps

I didn’t make it to the next step for working lead, instead they asked me to once again return as a trainer. I took the position because of the fact that I’m in need of the extra bit of money, I hate how money rules all. It’s sad I know.

i wish things would just get better, but I just don’t know what to do to accomplish that. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again….I wish I could just skip to the part of my life where I’m truly happy without any worry.

Back to school I go

So back in mid July I went to school to check in with a counselor to make sure that I have all my class completed so that I can get my AA & finally transfer to a Cal State. I wanted to go to Cal State Long Beach, but I found out that they closed Spring Applications even before they could even accept them. I guess they got a lot of incoming students, so yah. My second choice is Cal State Fullerton, I could go to Cal State Long Beach but it would probably be Open University but at the cost of $200 bucks a unit, which does not include my parking permit or my books. Also there’s the factor that if I don’t get into Cal State Long Beach in the fall then I’m screwed, according to Assist.org nothing from Long Beach will transfer over to Fullerton. Are they not considered to be Sister Colleges!? So I would be losing money. I ended up submitting my application to CSF, better known as Disney University because almost everyone from Disneyland goes there. Oh well! As long as I finish my one class then I qualify for my AA & I can graduate from community college. I’m excited!

 

Work as finally calmed down. I’m throwing myself back into the mix of things again. I want to quit Disney soon because they are going to screw with our hours. I only work weekends because of school, I don’t want them to cut back on my hours even more. I applied for a working lead position, now I’m waiting for them to tell me if I even made it to the next step which is an interview. I know you’re thinking that I’m crazy for doing it, but I just need to last a year & hopefully I can then quit. Having working lead on a resume will help me to get a better job or I might eventually leave to go to the travel company. I’m really going to try not losing myself again in all the stupidity of everything that goes on. So that’s life at the moment.

 

The best part of today was seeing my little sister Tam today & catching up on things even remembering our past whether it was the bad or the good. I miss her a lot.

 

I’m off to bed, I got to be at work before the butt crack of dawn….6am. I think I’ll make it to Starbucks tomorrow…I don’t know. The people are Starbucks have pity for Disney Cast Members…*cough*discount*cough* maybe.

WALL-E Widget

I Gave Up

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. Well things finally went sour last two weeks ago I ended up dropping my trainer status. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, harder than the first time I did it. In all honesty I didn’t want to do it because I LOVE to train! Yet with all the things that’s been going on, all the crap that I’ve been taking from other people just wasn’t worth it. I hated being sad, depressed, mad & just unpleasent. There would be days that I’d end up losing it & I didn’t like my trainees to see me that way.

The day I wrote my E-mail dropping my trainer status I cried, you might be thinking I’m lame or dumb for doing that but it just goes to show how much I loved training. It wasn’t fair that I always got the shit end of the stick. I talked to people about certain things yet I just got pushed to the side & I hated it. They told me that if I did take my status back that I needed to talk to them when I was feeling mad or anything. I did talk to them, but they did nothing to help me out. So screw it!

Just makes me sad to see a ride that I actually love go down the shitter.

schools out for summer….

I finshed my classes this semester without losing my head too much, I got a C in my Bio 102 class thank goodness! I still haven’t checked my english class, but I have a feeling that I got a B.

Work is still driving me nuts. The days that I had off to be an RO on the attraction…ya I ended up calling in. I just didn’t want to be at work that weekend. The person that I’ve been complaining about to my managers finally screwed up big time during my training this past weekend, hopefully with the written statements the managers will finally open their eyes up. I honestly just want this person taken off the ride because I can’t stand their stupid shit anymore. My co-core trainer is being a pain in my ass this weekend as well. All they did was bitch about the way training is being done & I’m defending it because honestly…they can’t train for shit. All of their trainees struggle because they’re lacking on giving their trainees extra practice time or they just plain fuckin’ scare their trainees. I think I got pissed off the most when they reminded me where to put the keys after I was done training. HELLO!!! I trained you as a trainer!! I TOLD YOU where to put the keys at the end of the night.

I’m just so pissed off with everything. I was going to have Wednesday thru Friday off, but now I don’t get Friday off because I have to go in & finish training because they failed to do a PA (Performance Assement) for me, because they were too stubborn to ask for help in giving people their breaks. I guess eventually when I do have a meeting with my managers I’m going to tell them that this certain person is useless to me & it’s a joke to have them as a co-core trainer, especially when they can’t keep up with their own shit.

FUCK I’M ANNOYED!!!

I finally lost it

The past month or so I’ve been stressing about work & i hate it because it has made me into a sad person. Paul even admits that ever since I took back my trainer status that I’ve slowly become sadder, and even depressed. I feel bad that he’s been putting up with me and having to listen to me complain about everything that’s going on. My period even lasted two weeks! That’s how stressed out I am. I was told one thing from my manager and the next thing I know they went back on their word. I’m never going to understand how those who are unreliable, irresponsible or just complete dumb fucks can get what they want by just putting up a fake five minute act of being “golden”. My managers tell me that my thoughts count, when really they don’t. It seems as if I’m the only one whose too stubborn and blunt to just go with what my managers want. I’ve worked at making training fun for not only myself but for my trainees.

I was told that there was a big difference in my training compared to those who they decided to make trainers after I dropped my status. I feel that they just want me to drop my status again. I can’t help but see the ride that I care for go to shit because the people that we are getting just don’t care at all. Those that want to be trainers only do it because they want the title of lead, they don’t care at all for the trainer position. I’m tired of having leads that don’t know what they are doing and having to be their crutch or having to help them out because they don’t know shit about the ride. I’ve worked that ride for 4 years, but I guess I still don’t know what I’m doing and the managers do.

I was told that I’d have the approval of not signing off trainers that don’t make it and that would be that. Did that happen? Nope. Instead were giving them three chances and letting them take time off for vacation in the middle of shadowing.

Today I sent out an e-mail telling them I can’t take the crap that they are giving out. Also the fact that the ride is going to shit, of course I couldn’t say it like that but they knew that’s where I was going with it. I guess the next time I have a meeting with my managers it’s going to lead me to drop my status, I really don’t want to do that but I hate the way i feel day in and out. I hate that I’m not getting my vacation granted because they depend on me. I still think it was a joke to have a co-core trainer, especially when they haven’t done jack crap to help me out. They’ve trained for four weeks and is already complaining about it. Suck it up! I did it for five and a half months, it’s a five day training and i had it back to back, having the pressure of finishing the training by day five because the very next day I’d have a new set.

I finally lost it.

stressed out

As of lately I’ve been stressing so much. i hate work. it’s the cause of my stress. i couldn’t even enjoy my two year anniversary with Paul yesterday, which makes me sad. aunt flow decided to make her visit a week & a half early so i was feeling bloated & gross. even today i felt gross, my stomach is killing me!

for our 2 year anniversary Paul stayed over on Saturday & Sunday. we cuddled like crazy, he knows i love cuddling with him. even though it was incredible hot weather…it didn’t stop us. We really didn’t do much on Sunday, it was just too hot also the fact that i didn’t wake up till about 10am. We had dinner at Olive Garden which was nice, my dinner was so yummy, also garlic bread sticks….mmmmmm….i love bread sticks.

i wanted to start the 365 photo project on Sunday, but they way i’ve been feeling lately i guess it’s best i hold off on it. well i should be off i need to start my presentation for my English class tomorrow. i have no idea how i want to start it.

i wish this stressed feeling would just go away, i hate feeling the way i do.

2 years

2 years with paul & i couldn’t be happier. he’s my everthing!

this picture was taken on our first new years day together. i love him so much. he’s my eskimo & i’m his polar bear. :o)

i loathe you bio 102

so i took my second test for the class, i actually thought i did really well on the exam. yeah, a few days later the test results posted…we’re not going to talk about it. i feel as though i had been cheated out of a good grade. i honestly studied my brain off for this test & i failed it miserably. right now i looked at the quiz grade that i’m going to drop & the homework assignment with that i’m managing about a 74% in the class. i’m still hoping that she’ll take pity & grade on a curb, except for two or three assignements & quizes i’ve gotten above average scores. i guess i’m just not that great when it comes to taking tests.

the lastest that were reading is about evolution, i have to take another read on the chapter to make sure i get everything. i’m also starting on my study guide for our next test. we only have three tests. i’m already looking forward to summer.

right now i’m in the middle of trying to start my research paper for my english class. yesterday i had a check in with my professor so he could see how i was progressing with it. i’ve been having a hard time trying to find stats and other sorts of information. i talked to him about my struggle but overall my idea of how i would like my paper to flow. i told him of the lack of information that i’m getting, he suggested i look up some articles that could help me out. after talking about changing the direction of my paper i bit i did agree with the ideas he had for me. im actually a little excited about the direction my paper might go in, but i just need to sit down & start the damn thing. i need to have some sort of summary for tomorrow as well as an outline, because i didn’t quite have that for our meet.

this past weekend it was stupidly hot out here in california, normally around this time the weather is breezy & cool. yeah not this past weeked, we were in the 90’s & boy did it suck. paul came over on sunday again, & we were just both blah…that’s how hot it was. yet it didn’t stop us from trying to bake a pizzookie, which was a bad idea…especially in almost 90 degree weather. hey we did have ice cream to go with it! we also learned a valuable lesson, next time the split the recipe into two pizzookies, the one we made was waaaaayy to thick & it took longer to bake, which meant it was hotter in the house.

while we were eating our pizzookie we watch Little Miss Sunshine, he’d never seen it. afterwards we both took a nap, then he woke up & gave me a back rub. which was well deserved. i dont think i can do anymore waxing shifts, they just knock the hell out of me.

imagine have to wake up at 3am to be at work by 5am, then having to lug around cleaning stuff to clean bobsleds. it takes a lot out of a person. especially when it was hot on sunday, oh man. i for sure came home & took cold shower. then it was hard to not be cranky while paul & i were making the pizzookie. normally on my waxing days i shower & take my waxers nap. my shift is 5am till 1:30pm, so i’d get home around 2:15ish, depending if i need to run errans after work, come home shower & pass out, you don’t wake up till around 5:30ish maybe 6ish & when you wake up youre disoriented. you have no idea what time it is, sometimes you feel as if you slept the whole day away & think you’re late for work the next day….when really it’s still the same day.

did i mention you tend to wake up in a puddle of your own drool when you wake from the waxer nap. seriously…that’s how tired you are. i’m going to experience that fun time on saturday, then i get to drag myself back to work the next day at 7am. ugh. then i’m going to play in the park with paul. i haven’t played in the park since our holiday party, so i’m actually excited.

just because i work at disneyland doesn’t mean i spend all my time their, i don’t want to become bored with the place so i try not to play too oftern. at time i wish i did play more often, but of course theirs the part of me that worries i’ll get bored of the place. or worse yet, i’ll be an annoying AP.